Pushing Pause…

Months ago, John and I planned our first getaway weekend without George. We purchased tickets to Santa Fe, booked a hotel room, snagged tickets to the Opera, made spa reservations and landed hard-to-get restaurant reservations. We made arrangements for my parents to watch George — it was a win-win for everyone. We were terribly excited for an opportunity to relax, lay low and soak up some culture.

However, on Friday, five minutes before boarding for our flight began, we cancelled the entire trip. We were at the airport when things just didn’t feel right to me. I started to feel very nervous…then I couldn’t shake a tremendous sense of anxiety. Then the chest tightening and nervous stomach took hold. Unfortunately, this was not something that was going to improve with ten deep breaths, Xanax or listening to a white noise app. Since the whole purpose of the trip was to relax, we decided to push pause on the idea and to revisit it in a few weeks.

As we left the airport, I had a meltdown. Meltdown. I have traveled extensively for work without George, but the thought of leaving him and taking John with me was tough to process. The more I thought about it though, the more I knew I had made a good decision. We drove to my parents’ house and I cried the whole way there. I hugged George tightly when I saw him, and cried like a baby. My parents were very worried about me and my Dad suggested that I take a nap to reset myself. Of course, I took Dad’s advice.

Two hours later, I woke up from my nap feeling energized, yet calm. I won’t say I was ready to change our plans and go on the trip, but I was ready to leave George with my parents for the night. After an amazing dinner (Mom made homemade enchiladas), John and I drove home without George. Friends, I crashed when I got home and slept soundly for 10 hours. I haven’t slept that well since before George was born. It was glorious!

We spent Saturday running errands and being lazy at the house. I even took another two hour nap! My parents brought George back over in the evening and I cooked dinner for them (green chile chicken enchilada casserole and bean casserole) to thank them for their understanding and efforts with George.

As you might have guessed, George was perfectly fine with my parents. In fact, both George and my parents had a wonderful time together. And, John and I had a nice time at home.

Here’s what I learned:

  • Sleep heals many wounds, including those you don’t know you have.
  • Sometimes you just need a good cry.
  • If your parents offer to babysit your child, let them. It will be good for everyone!
  • It’s OK to take time for yourself. I have been running a mile a minute for months now and it was nice to slow down for just a bit.
  • Have faith and listen to your intuition.
  • I have a wonderfully family that loves me – warts and all!

I am grateful for my parents and the love they have for me, John and George. It was a blessing for them to watch George and to give us some time to relax. My Mom wants to take George for the weekend at least once a month…and I think I am going to let her!

I should also add that I was able to cancel our flight and hotel room without incurring cancelling fees. I was also able to sell my tickets back to the Opera. So, it all worked out – just as it should have.


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